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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Signing Off

I think we've come to the end of the road with this. We experimented. We learned more about ourselves, our needs, our desires, what works for us, and what doesn't work for us. I don't think we "failed." I think this is just not the right dynamic for our relationship.

I've had so much change in my life recently. There are so many in this community that I've enjoyed getting to know, ladies that I wanted to catch up with, ladies who've birthed babies this year and I wanted to check in with, and it's just not happening.

But what I want to say is thank you. Thank you for welcoming me, encouraging me, walking with me for even the short time that this was. I needed encouragement, support, reassurance, and hope that things could improve and you ladies gave me that.

We are returning to a more egalitarian dynamic. I'm not sure that my husband is crazy about the fact that we're not pursuing this any further, but I definitely think that it was making things a lot worse. Whether it's that we have the wrong personalities, too many issues, or whatever it may be, this doesn't work for us. I am planning to continue to work on my relationship with my husband. And there are lessons I can take with me. Not every argument is worth having. Sometimes it's better to keep my mouth shut until his rant is over. Sometimes it's good for him to take the lead. So I don't feel that we are going back to an old dynamic, but moving forward into a different dynamic that will hopefully incorporate some of the lessons that I've learned by participating in this community.

Thank you and I sincerely wish you all the very best!

15 comments:

  1. Hi Rose, every couple needs to find what works for them. This dynamic may not be what right for you and your husband, but as you said, you have not failed. I think it's wonderful that this experience has allowed you to learn more about each other and given you tools going forward in your relationship.

    Wishing you the very best. I hope you will check in from time to time to let us know how you are doing.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Roz. I appreciate how kind and helpful you've always been. We are doing great. Baby is a toddler and life is in high speed right now! I hope you are doing well.

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  2. Wishing you the best on your next adventure.

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  3. You know, just because it isn't right for you right now, doesn't mean you have to leave us. Lots of women are in this community who don't do ttwd. I am sorry that you haven't been able to maintain a dynamic you wanted. It really is a very difficult thing. I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like with all those little people around and all the changes you have had in your life the past couple of years.

    I hope you decide to stay somehow. There is all sorts of support here, even if you aren't actively participating in Dd.

    Your friend
    willie

    ( ps....chat? )

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    Replies
    1. Sorry friend. Just saw that - wasn't trying to reject your chat...lol! You are right. Who knows how I will feel down the road. It definitely doesn't work for us with little ones running around. I know other couples manage it beautifully with kiddos in the home, but not us...lol! I am happier now. We are very much egalitarian now - still working through some of our issues - but we fight for our marriage every day!

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  4. Wishing both of you the best for the future.

    x

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  5. wishing the best for the future.
    hugs

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  6. Hi Rose, even if this dynamic is not the right thing for you at the moment, I am happy for you having learned so much that you want to keep in your relationship. I hope you'll check in now and then and tell us how you are doing. Wishing you the best.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Thank you Ni Na! You've always been so kind to me. We are doing well. Baby is a toddler and my house is a disaster...lol! We are very egalitarian right now and still working through our issues, so things are better. Who knows? Maybe someday this would fit for us, but definitely not at this point. *hugs*

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  7. Rose, I wish you and your husband all the best. I'm glad you are taking something away from this and I hope that you find the right dynamic for the two of you.

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    1. Thank you! We are working on that now for sure - finding our right dynamic, which is really back to egalitarian! Who knows how our needs will change in the future? I so much appreciate all of you ladies. It's been so great getting to know everyone.

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  8. So, how does it feel to go egalitarian after DD? Your last comment was in 2016 and you seemed happier than before. How are things going now? Has DD permanently changed your dynamics in some ways?

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