Growing Pains

Tom: Let's go upstairs.

Me: Drags feet and stomps up the stairs (how did I turn into a three year old all of a sudden?)

Tom: I have to discipline you. You should've seen the look on his face.

Me: Hanging head in shame. He looks really mad. Are you in control? 

Tom: Yes. I'm mad, but I'm in control.

Me: Assumes the position.

Whack   Whack

Me: Squirm squirm Do you always have to use that thing? It's so thin that it's probably like using a cane! (speaking of his treasured lightsaber).

Tom: Yes. I like it. It's effective.

Whack

Me: Owieeee!

Tom: I'm going to five. You've got two more.

Me: Okay.

Whack

Squirm Squirm

Whack

Tom: All done.

This one was well earned friends. Hubby and I were arguing and I took it out on my oldest son. I yelled at him for something minor - ripped his little heart to shreds really. That's not the kind of mom that I want to be, not the kind of mom I feel that I am. Not by a long shot. I definitely deserved to be disciplined and probably even more so than I was.

Tom still takes it pretty easy on me when it comes to discipline, but I've noticed something. When we first began TTWD, the minute I would cry out or protest he would stop and figured I'd had enough. Now he's pushing past that point. He's not pushing past by much, but I see him evolving and growing into his HOH role.

Also, if you have read Epic Fail - Don't Try This At Home, then you are aware that we've also made progress in our ability to manage the discipline in a way that feels emotionally safe to me. Oh, we discussed safe words and 15 second rules and such after that incident, but in this moment that all left my head and all I could squeak out was, "Are you in control?" He knew what I meant and he gave me the reassurance that I needed to feel safe. As safe as one can feel when they're about to be whacked with a lightsaber anyways!

She knows she's going to get a spanking and feels a bit apprehensive. I can relate!

Well done to my HOH. I'm feeling grateful as he is learning and gaining confidence. I know that our roles feed into each other. As I improve with mine, he improves with his and vice versa. I don't believe we will ever be that couple that seemingly changes overnight. I think we will quietly creep along until one day we look back and realize how much things have changed.

May The Force Be With You

One of my first punishment spankings occured when I threw something out of anger. Tom's reaction was to tell me to go to the basement so we could talk. On one hand, since we had been experimenting with a D/S dynamic, I was excited to see his inner Dom come out. On the other hand I knew that he was really pissed at me and I wasn't really sure what to expect. So by the time he got downstairs I was already halfway in tears. And you know what he brought with him? Our son's lightsaber toy. On one hand it's hollow and pretty lightweight, so you wouldn't think it would be terrible, but it has quite the sting to it. That being said, this was one of my first real punishment spankings. So he stopped the minute I cried out, which was after only three swats. That was plenty to keep me good for a good half a week. I know that as time goes on and he becomes more confident with spanking, I will not get off so easy! How is it that we're only a few weeks into this and Tom already has a favorite implement? And I absolutely despise it - it really is quite stingy. I will never hear the phrase "May the force be with you" the same way again!