Background

Monday, March 10, 2014

He Claimed Me and Tori's Questions



We got home late last night from a hockey game. We had a ton of fun together with one of our kiddos. Our kiddo was tired and playing in the other room. My husband came into the office. I was standing and leaning over the desk checking to see what I'd missed in blogland.

He comes up behind me and touches me and presses himself right up against my back. He sways. I sway. He walks away. Not far. Just to the door. Then he turns the lock and walks back over towards me. More pressing up against me. More swaying. My body responds to this amazing and loving man that I'm lucky to spend my days with.

My chest falls to the desk. My pants come off as do his and he is pressing up against me. He touches me and I'm ready for him. He enters me from behind. Slowly at first and then he picks up speed. He continues his thrusting until he comes undone. 

He cuddles me and tells me he just couldn't contain himself. He's falling in love with me all over again he says. I'm falling in love with him too. After eleven years of marriage, we're falling in love and on a second honeymoon. If only we had a beach too! 

Amazing things are happening. This was another first for us - sex from this position. Perhaps I needed to be submissive and he needed to be dominant to make it work. We'd tried years ago and it was awkward and painful and we stopped. This was pure bliss. It was intense and I felt claimed when he was done. We've had some great sex, some of it the sweet and loving kind. This was full of love, but it wasn't sweet. It was masculine and dominating and I loved every second of it. I am his. I belong to him and this was his way of letting me know that.

***Tori's Questions - What prompted the move to DD/ who initiated it? Is there one particular kind you really want to try? Do you have an agreed set of rules/ a contract?***

I initiated the move to DD. I have always been sexually closed off, a bit of a prude. It wasn't intentional. I had a religious upbringing and couldn't seem to get past the association between guilt and sex that I'd always been taught. So I had sex with my husband out of obligation. But to enjoy it or to explore it was just not something that was on my radar. I read Fifty Shades (I know, likely story here) and found it hot. I set it aside for awhile, but after a year I decided to reread it again. And it was that second reading that just changed me. I couldn't stop thinking about sex and I felt turned on nonstop. This coincided with my 34th birthday and I have to wonder if something hormonal happened as well. I started researching BDSM, but realized that I wanted more than kink. What really really turned me on when I thought about it was power exchange. I read through forums on Fetlife and over and over was drawn to people discussing TPE. Now I don't think we're totally there yet, but that's what got me on the road to DD. When I first stumbled onto DD blogs, I was initially repulsed. Sorry friends, it's just true. I wasn't ready. I didn't understand why a woman would let a man do such things. So we tried a little kink, nothing I would call real BDSM, but definitely spicier than what we had been. But I still felt like something was missing. So I kept researching and reading blogs. I came across D/s blogs and then once again DD blogs. About a month had passed. And for some reason that short passage of time was enough to make me open to what DD had to offer. I dropped hints initially. More hinting as well as some direct statements. I finally had to open up a lot more about just what I was asking. I admit that I thought I might die of embarrassment in asking for all of this. But wow, he's taking to it and we're well on our way. We have a lot to learn. Personally, I'd like a lot more on the BDSM side of things than what we're doing. But we will hopefully have many more years to explore and grow and change. So I have things to look forward to with my husband!

Hmmm...one particular kink? That is very hard as I feel like there's more things we haven't tried than we have. I'd like to go much much deeper into bondage. I've never been flogged and for some reason that holds a lot of appeal for me as does a riding crop. I'd like to continue growth in the power exchange area because I feel like there's so much room for growth. Okay, I guess you asked for one and I could go on and on. So I guess I'll just finish this question by saying I'd be up for experimenting a lot as long as it's with my husband.

As far as an agreed set of rules or contract, we do not have that. When I first started exploring I filled out and printed a list I found from some BDSM resources as to things that I'd done, wanted to try, could possibly try, or were hard limits. I simply gave it to him for some reading. He said at the time that he realized I'd looked further into this than he initially thought. Other than that though there have been no contracts. I do have rules, but we're kind of in the learning process. I'm not allowed to throw things, stomp around and yell when I can't find something, or be bitchy and disrespectful.

Thank you for the questions Tori. It was fun to give them some thought and answer them!

18 comments:

  1. Loved reading this! It sounds like he is really stepping up and I think its awesome that your love for each other is blooming again:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is stepping up in a lot of ways. We still have a lot of hurdles we're working our way through, but I do feel like there is definite progress. I do believe we are more in love with each other!

      Delete
  2. Thanks for answering so honestly with your thoughts.

    I think its great that your both so on board with this, for many it seems that one in the relationship wants it and the other doesnt, i guess its a huge change, well it is.

    It is wonderful how all this brings about a more intimate and nurturing relationship, not that im saying vanilla relationships dont have that..but i guess within tttwd its just that bit more different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tori. I do feel really lucky in that respect. It does seem like a lot of women have to work really hard to get their man on board and some never come around. :( I do think TTWD brings a depth to our relationship that we weren't able to get with a vanilla relationship.

      Delete
  3. Wow, it sounds like the power exchange has really enhanced your marriage.

    How do you think embracing DD & ttwd, has changed your lives together, & has it all be positive? And what's Tom's view of the same questions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes geekie kittie. The power exchange does seem to be enhancing our marriage. I think we still have quite a ways to go with the power exchange and it is definitely challenging at times. Sometimes I just struggle with laying down my will on certain things.

      Thanks for the questions. I will add them to my list and answer them as soon as I get a chance!

      Delete
  4. Nice answers. I had no idea what TPE was a week ago, but someone mentioned it, and so I looked it up. Thank you for your answers. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your welcome Es May! I came across TPE early in my journey because I researched BDSM before I researched DD and I think TPE is more of a BDSM term than a DD term so much...at least I think. Lord knows I'm no expert on all of this...lol!

      Delete
  5. There does seem to be a sexual awakening with ttwd. We too are slowly evolving in that manner too. Including what you described above. Before ttwd, I would grit my teeth and 'bear it' or switch to that position so Barney would finish faster..but now I LOVE it...LOL..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha Wilma - you are right. It is doing amazing things for my libido. I love seeing him more in charge. Well, mostly, not this week so much...lol

      Delete
  6. All that excitement, and the thing I'm curious about is, who were the hockey teams? Hee. Can't help it, my old hockey fixation comes out whenever anyone talks about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tiklish! Thanks for visiting! I don't know if you saw Captain's response below. The team isn't part of the NHL. It's a regional hockey team! It was fun, but the fights were a bit tame. It's been a long time since I've been to a hockey game, but the last I went to there was a fight towards the end of the game that was so huge that the teams jumped out of their boxes and ran into it. It was fantastic!

      Delete
  7. It was a hometown regional league, No one in the NHL.

    ReplyDelete
  8. wonderful moment stolen in time...thanks for sharing
    and I enjoyed reading your answers... Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for visiting Terps! I'm glad you enjoyed.
      Rose

      Delete
  9. 1. That story at the beginning was HOT. It's amazing how much a relationship dynamic can change sex, huh?

    2. I absolutely loved reading your story about delving into DD. I was sort of where you were in regards to not understanding DD, although I've always been a spanko, so I understood why wives wanted to be *spanked.* It wasn't until recently when I also felt that something was...missing. It sounds like you are right where you want to be :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Autumn! I'm glad you enjoyed the little story at the beginning. A year ago I don't think I would have believed that there could ever be anything HOT about our sex life...lol! Honestly I think it's great that you've been so in tune with your needs that you always knew you were a spanko. I feel like I have all this repressed stuff that I'm just now discovering. I am glad at least that now I'm discovering it.

      Delete
  10. Tomrose I just stumbled upon hour blog I love march questions finding new blogs:) the beginning of your post was hot , we were the same way for a long time . We are pretty new to this lifestyle and still learning ... When S first tried doing this with me I was not a fan of it (referring to the beginning of your post) over time I began to want it more and it began to be much easier and I agree if can be loving a s beautiful . Now it seems like all we do :)
    How did you after a few years of marriage did you finally come to the conclusion you were or wanted to be submissive ? You say your not allowed to stomp your feet or yell when frustrated do you think that it's easier not to do now? I know my frustrations are much easier to deal with now :)

    ReplyDelete