Monday, August 25, 2014

Rose's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

This is a story of a day in Captain's kingdom .
Rose, Captain's fair lady, 
was entrusted with a variety of duties 
That kept the kingdom running as smoothly as possible. 

And just as in any other day in the kingdom,
there were multiple children to be juggled.
 There were numerous piles of clutter to dig through in order to find
 or the other thing. 

There were little people crying,

 "Rose. I need this!" 
"Rose. I need that!" 
 "He took my toy!" 
"He hit me!" 
 "He ate my brother!"
 And so it was mass chaos throughout the land.

Now Rose has been keeping up and doing her best for years.
Running here, running there.
Attempting to clean whilst tornadoes in the form of little boys run amok.

But Rose has been getting tired. 
And anxious.
Excited for new things to come.
But upset that they're not coming as quickly as she'd like.
Endlessly waiting for Calgon to take her away
Or at least the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow.

Now on this particular day, for whatever reason, Rose was very tired.
The children seemed ten times as loud.
The inability to find things right away seemed a hundred times more irritating.
And Rose was not getting along with Captain very well.

Rose's temper was foul.
Her tears were swift.
Her thoughts were hazy and unfocused.
The children were napping,
But rest was not hers to have.
She snapped on her Captain time and again,
Until he would have none of it.
"Upstairs!" he commanded.

Slowly she moved, 
Like a turtle through marshmallow, 
Up, up, up the stairs 
And into the bedroom.

"Get on the bed. Turn over!" Captain barked.
Rose began to quake as she heard his grumpy demeanor.
She assumed the position,
But then something happened.

All of the pent up emotion and anxiety and fatigue
That was swirling around inside
Burst through as she laid on the bed with her butt in the air
Dreading the first blow
Rose was sorry.
Sorry for being mean and nasty.
Sorry for being someone that she doesn't want to be.
Sorry that she's angry all the time.
Sorry that she's overwhelmed and can't seem to get a grip.
Just sorry sorry sorry.
And all of the sorrow poured out in sobs,
Great big, bodyshaking sobs.
And she tried to reign it in 
And gain control,
Knowing that with the first strike of the wooden board
She'd have no hope of controlling them.
She tried and tried,
But the tears kept on coming.
As she tensed and waited for the blow,
She felt herself being covered up
And she heard Captain's footsteps leave the room.
Rose relaxed her head and cried.
And then just felt kind of numb.
It really was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.


  1. You know, with all you have been through lately- wondering if Dd was going to ever 'take hold' in your life maybe just the fact that he was going to follow through allowed you to let go? I know things kinda went blah from there too....but keep 'panning for gold' Rose. I know you can do anything you set your mind and heart to. Keep plugging away, even if it is for only a speck. But most of all be kind to yourself ( and try not to throttle the Capt.). There is a bright light at the end of this can see it now!


    1. Maybe. I do feel like I've felt really lost and insecure with the lack of structure that we've had I guess. So it was actually extremely reassuring and safe even though I was all sorts of upset and emotional about it. I feel like this just sounds like a completely crazy! Even the blah that occured the next day as a result we were able to work through. I took your advice and spoke to him about it when we were both calm. I know there IS a lot of gold here. I think that's what is frustrating in that there is a lot of potential, but there's so much mucking up our relationship right now. I want to be through all the muck already, but the reality is that if we're to get anywhere good we have to just keep on keeping on until we get to the muck free side of things (or at least a side with less muck). And I PROMISE I will not throttle Capt. I did that once. Trust me - never never never never again!!! I may make a lot of mistakes, but rest assured I will make new ones instead of making that mistake again! As always, thank you for all of your kindness and encouragement and support! :)


  2. I wish I could give you a big hug but a virtual one will have to do.


    1. Awww. Thank you so very much! I realize it may not sound like it from my post, but I feel like I'm in a much better place than I was last post. Like this interaction I've written about here was almost kind of cathartic or something. Thank you so much for stopping in. Your encouragement means so very much to me!


  3. Oh...Big Hugs!! You are in good company, I just had one of those days myself. I wish i had my own apartment to run away to...just for a night. I hope you get some much needed alone time, and keep talking you two with get there!!


    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement Jennelle. I'm glad to know I'm not the only "nutty"! I am really trying hard to do more talking. When I get upset I tend to shut down and bury. But I bury bury bury and then I explode. So nothing ever really gets solved. I'm really working hard to recognize and address my part in all of our struggles right now! I love Capt dearly though and could not imagine life without him, so I know we have to get through this and we will come out on the other side better for it eventually!

  4. Oh, Rose, your day sounds very stressful :( I hope the Captain at least gave you some comfort and soothing touches.

    1. Even though it was stressful, I think it was cathartic and necessary. Comfort and soothing touches are honestly not often present as Capt. is not prone to much touching. I sincerely sincerely hope that this path of DD leads to more of that in our lives! Thanks so much for dropping in with encouragement and support. It means so much to me!

  5. Aww Rose, I'm sorry you had such a rough day and hope things are brighter tomorrow and that you are able to get some rest, you do sound exhausted.

    Sending you big ((Hugs))

    1. Thank you Roz! This wasn't yesterday - it was actually a day last week! It tends to take me forever to get around to blogging things! The nice thing is I have a short work week this week, with a four day weekend coming up. Woot! Thanks for visiting and for all of the support and encouragement you always send my way!


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