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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Questions from Little Girl, Autumn, and Jenelle



***I would like to post a warning that midway through this post, there is mention of 9/11 and the war that follows. Please use your discretion in whether or not you want to read as I know that can be a sensitive subject, especially for those whose loved ones were directly affected. ***

Many of you are aware that we're in transition around here. While Capt completed his schooling and passed his licensing exam, he couldn't actually work with his license until it was processed by the state. Well, he is finally on the state registry. Today is his first day of orientation at his job.




I am very curious to see how things go today, as there are some details of his job that we're not sure of yet - the kind of details that will impact our plan with moving forward and putting out some form of notice to end my home daycare business.

And now, I'm going to answer some questions. These are from March Q's. Sorry. I guess it's a bit of an understatement to say I got a little off task here.


Little Girl asks - What attracted you most when you first met? Aurora asks - I'm a sucker for love stories so I guess my question would be how did you two meet?


We met a long time ago in a galaxy far away...okay, not really, but it feels like that. I was in junior high and he was in high school. We met at church youth group. We were really young. We became friends slowly but I was not attracted to him at all. When I was sixteen years old we started hanging out a bit. I needed someone to go rollerblading with and he was into that. We'd go out and rollerblade around. He taught me how to rollerblade down stairs. This is not as spectacular as it sounds. The ones I was able to do were not very steep. But he would catch me at the bottom because I had issues with not falling over once I got to the bottom. I was very thick. It never dawned on me that he had a crush on me. There was never anything sexual about our relationship - just friends. I gradually started to share more of myself with him - my thoughts, feelings, poetry (poor guy put up with your typical poorly written depressive teenage idea of poetry)- and he always cared what I had to say. We were truly best friends in every sense. And then I found out from a friend that he had a crush on me. I was surprised. Let me repeat - I was pretty thick...clueless in fact,much like the lead in one of my favorite movies at the time.



So as much as I knew it would suck I decided to have "that conversation" with him. I told him that I only saw him as a friend and that's all we would ever be and he needed to give it up and move on. Then he did what any normal person would do. He distanced himself for a bit. That was awful. We were so close at that point that I felt empty when he wasn't around. But I definitely wasn't interested. Have I mentioned that I was thick yet? Well, time came for his prom and he took me as friends. That was difficult, knowing how he felt. I didn't want to lead him on, but I also really wanted to go. To be honest, I don't know exactly when I started to feel differently. I always felt this pull towards him, but I always thought it was because he was such a great friend. At some point the line started to blur and during one of our movie nights at my house the line budged and we found ourselves holding hands. That was it. It's all so sweet and innocent looking back on it, but at the time holding hands was a really big deal to me.

I would love to say that it was all hearts and flowers from that point on. But he was the first person I'd dated and he was immediately at a very serious level with our relationship. I, on the other hand, felt afraid of moving too fast, being too serious, and being too committed. So we broke up several times over the next few years. I went off to college and dated another guy, which drove my husband to the point of madness. But you see, it was in dating this other guy that I really missed Capt. I never felt I could be myself with this other guy. I was always hiding my innermost self for fear he'd "find me out" and not like me anymore. With Capt everything was already out in the open. He knew who I was completely. But because of that things were always bumpier with Capt. We were always 100% real with one another and sometimes that meant some very hurtful interactions. As a young person, that really scared me off.

So then Capt got tired of waiting around on me...finally!



He then did what any reasonable man does when his affection isn't being returned. He joined the military! Knowing that he was going away did something to me and lo and behold we were together again before he even left for basic training. While he was gone we wrote letters - I still have all of them! My parents drove with me and we watched him graduate from basic training. He then went away for more training. I moved away from our hometown for my first post college job - a highly overrated thing if you ask me! We wrote and every once in awhile I'd be fortunate enough to get an actual phone call. Then 9/11 happened.



In all my life I've never been so horrified. I walked into the training center for my new job and everyone was gaping open mouthed at a tv screen. I soon became one of them. I remember feeling my heart split and the tears fall as I watched countless lose their lives right in front of my eyes. People's fathers, sons, daughters, mothers, dear friends, and lovers. I didn't know anyone that lived in New York city, but it didn't matter. In that moment, their pain was my pain. I grieved for everyone affected. In my grief, I also grieved for Capt. My brain was already two steps ahead. I knew what this would mean for our military. I knew what this would mean for Capt.

His unit was activated and he was sent directly from his training once completed. But, we are fortunate. While there was rumor after rumor after rumor of him being sent to some of the most hostile areas, he was not sent. He stayed in this country to fill holes left by others who were overseas. It is very selfish, I know. But I have always been beyond thankful that he never left American soil in the name of war.

He served active duty for close to a year if I remember right. During that time it was much easier to speak on the phone. I went to visit him at one point. He came to visit me on leave at another point. It was a lovely time. He took me to dinner and we were just so happy to be in one another's presence. We went to our home town and went to a friend's wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. And wouldn't you know that I caught the bouquet? And after I caught the bouquet I turned around and there he was on one knee staring up at me with a ring - he and my friend had done some planning. I was once again Clueless and failed to notice that not one other girl actually tried to get the bouquet. They were all in on it!



So we got engaged that night - obviously. He got on a plane shortly after that and we continued our long distance relationship. There continued to be rumor after rumor of him going overseas, but finally he came home and we set our wedding date. And I guess that's that because the next chapter was marriage.

Who asked who to do DD?


I asked him! It's crazy, but true. I read 50 Shades of Grey, became intrigued, and started researching online. The longer version of this is in a post, The Convoluted Trail That Led Us To DD.

Did you both know about DD when you got married or was it something you discovered online?

No - not at all! I would've run for the hills, I'm sure!

Are either of you spankos?

I don't know. I think we both might be actually. There is something both comforting and exciting about being spanked. I still don't understand it yet!

1. What is your favorite date night activity?


We both love to try new restaurants. This is not really possible where we live right now, but it was our favorite thing to do when we first got married. Go figure - we like to eat! A good movie and a cuddle is always nice. I have to admit that my favorite date was our 10 year anniversary. I wanted to go to a climbing gym and climb, but he wasn't really that interested, so we decided to do something he'd been wanting me to try for years. We went paintballing and shot at each other. It was very therapeutic. I highly recommend it. We weren't into DD then. I want to go back and do it again as I can think of some highly erotic capture/interrogation scenarios that might just be wonderful to play out in a hotel room afterwards!

2. What is your most hated implement?

My most hated implement continues to be the Lightsaber. Even the wooden cutting board thing with a handle doesn't hurt as much as that thing. He hasn't used it in a long time and I sincerely hope he doesn't get any ideas when he reads this! We still don't have a ton of variety in our implements though. Getting more implements is on the to do list. That being said, he's been very creative thus far with things we have around the house!

16 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed reading about how you both met. What a romantic proposal too! It seems you were exactly right for each other.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Thanks for saying so! I do believe we really were meant to be together! Thanks for stopping in!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  2. Awww...what a great story though! It doesn't have to a gushy love story for it to still be romantic!! Thank you for sharing:)

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    1. You're welcome! Sorry it took me so long to get to this. If something like this comes around again, I may put a huge disclaimer out when I invite questions...lol!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  3. I love your story! Thank you for sharing. We can all be "thick" sometimes. :) glad that you have a persistent man

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    1. Hi Kris! Thank you for stopping in! Yes, - "thickness" continues to be an issue with me when it comes to relationships...lol. He is very very persistent. I'm glad he stuck around!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  4. Barney was quite patient too. We worked together for 2 years, and socialized before we dated. He once told me when I was complaining about dating, " Why are you worried about these guys? You are going to marry me anyway" I just 'pfft' him at the time- IN typical Barney form, he doesn't remember saying that! LOL

    It is a great friend who is willing to give up part of her big day, and share it with you! Very sweet of her and of Tom...er Captain.

    Thanks for sharing~ even if you just a 'tad' late! LOL
    willie

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    1. Awww...lol...so sweet! That sounds a lot like Capt! Shortly after we started dating the first time, he said to me, "Now that I've got you to date me, my next goal is to get you to marry me." Talk about scaring me off! Our first breakup was right around the corner from that line!

      Thanks for visiting!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  5. Rose, I don’t think at all that it is selfish to pray for your loved one’s safety and well-being. Who would not understand that! Instead, it would be lovely, if everybody had someone to do this for them.
    The way you found each other and especially the proposal are so romantic, awesome!

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Agreed! I sincerely hope that there is someone to pray for every one of our military members - they need it!

      It's funny how unromantic our story seemed at the time. It wasnt this insta-love thing, but a slow and steady friendship that grew into a relationship characterized by quite a few break-ups...lol! But when I write or talk about it, it all seems fluffier and more lovey dovey now that I'm older! Thanks for visiting!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  6. Really nice story, Rose. I have a lot of admiration and respect for fellow military wives who've dealt with long deployments. Is the Capt still in? My husband is in the reserves still--I really hope the world stays at peace long enough so that he doesn't have to go overseas again. That's awesome your hubby got to stay stateside!

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    1. Thanks for reading Autumn! He is not still in. He was a reservist and served out his contract, but then decided to move on. He's considered going back in once he has his nursing degree as an officer, but I don't think he'll end up going that route. And honestly, with all of the unpredictability in the world, I'd be just fine if he just stayed on the civilian side of nursing. We were very fortunate when we were married that he was never deployed. There were rumors of deployment pretty much nonstop and I had to learn how to tune that out because it's enough to drive any married woman to madness. He received notice that they were going to deploy once and it was cancelled for some reason. My heart goes out to military wives also. The unpredictability and uncertainty of it all can be so hard to deal with and so stressful.

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  7. Awe, so sweet! My husband and I were on active duty when we met and were still for a long time after we were married. deployments suck, but they definitely made us stronger. I'm glad he was able to stay stateside too, everyone has a job to do, and sometimes that is just to support the people on the front lines. We had quite the 9/11 experience, we deployed together, and that was the event when I fell in love with him..it was scary knowing the changes that were ahead for us. I loved your story, so sweet and loving.

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    1. Thanks for reading Jennelle. Wow - Sounds like you guys have quite the story. I'd love to hear more some time or is it already on your blog and I've missed it! That does sound like it was a very scary time for you. I think something about deployment and deployment possibilities really brings out people's true feelings about one another!

      *hugs*
      Rose

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  8. Hi Rose, I really enjoyed reading this and how you met. Such a lovely story. I love the proposal :)

    Glad Captain is now on the register and hope things are going well with the new job.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you Rose! He has just started orientation at his new job and will be doing a lot of training for the next little while. I admit that I'm really looking forward to the paychecks that will start coming!

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